Casa Bonita-- in all of its glorious-ness, and also its dark, dirty underbelly

I had my very first experience with Casa Bonita last night for a dear friend's birthday. I was very excited about it, as I've heard tales of the legendary Casa Bonita for years, with it's cliff divers and mariachi bands and diarrhea-inducing vittles. You probably have too, if you watch South Park.

Kyle's parents are taking him and three friends to Casa Bonita, 

Colorado's version of a Mexican Disneyland. When Kyle chooses to invite Butters 

over Cartman, Cartman arranges to have Butters go conveniently "missing". 

I had high expectations, and Casa Bonita did not disappoint. The first sign that all of my wildest dreams were coming true was that we parked next to some sort of extremely-lifted monster truck. I just knew that if the owners of that truck were patrons of Casa Bonita, it was just my cup of tea. I couldn't wait to start gathering material to blog about.

Now, everyone over the age of two is required to purchase a meal at Casa Bonita... they don't want you taking advantage of the cliff divers and mariachi bands for free. That being said, Casa Bonita has really figured out a great way to expedite its service. You must order your meal upon entering the dining room; just select one of the delicious options from the glowing menu on the wall. Naturally, I got the "all-you-can-eat chicken dinner". I didn't want to leave hungry, and I wanted the most bang for my buck. There was a wealth of other options, however.

Not shown here, if you did not want to "Taste the Magic

of Mexico", you had the option to enjoy a fried chicken patty,

which was listed as one of the "Gringo dinners".

Look at the ease and efficiency of the food line. You simply grab your choice of serving platter and worn napkin and wait for your food to come out. I really did feel like I was being catapulted head-first into childhood again. 

Let's take a closer look at the "Gringo dinner" with fried chicken patty. I've never had green beans "melt in my mouth" like that before, but the most disconcerting thing for me was the texture and sheen of the buns.

The oranges were so fresh and authentic that the

sticker was still there.

I will say that there were several redeeming qualities to dinner, one being the great company, also the fact that we purchased the birthday girl a bubble gun, and that you could get a hearty glass of wine for $3.29. These were not piddly pours, and although the wine was disgusting, we ordered two glasses at once just to keep the night lively. It was about ten minutes into our meals that we started to notice an ominous rumbling in our tummies, which was clearly a warning signal. Unfortunately one member of our party, who will remain nameless, did have to leave in the middle of the meal and hurry to the bathroom to prevent an explosion. I can't make this stuff up.

The place really came alive after dinner, when we were several glasses of wine in and had the opportunity to experience Casa Bonita in all of it's glory. The place really is very cool, and the diver, who was about fifteen and clearly trying to impress a group of twenty-something women and two gay gentleman, did a "special dive" for the birthday girl. I'm sure he'll brag to his friends about it on Monday morning when he's on the bus to school.

Seriously though.. he was really sweet.

I had a great time at Casa Bonita, even though we were too late to dress up like bandidos and take a photograph in the jail. Dammit. Next time...