Saturday, November 19, 2016

We just dove with 12-ft+ feeding nurse sharks. They don't bite, they just suck really hard and give you huge hickies.
Still, it was pretty terrifying for me. I really don't like vast open water, slimy things touching me, or large sea creatures with weird beady eyes. Also I'm a weak swimmer at best. For as much as I travel and do wild and stupid things, I'm one of the wimpiest people I know. I just do a really good job of hiding it, and an amazing job of convincing everyone around me that I'm confident and know exactly what I'm doing, until you think it too. Spoiler: I never know what the fuck I'm doing. I've realized that if I talk myself into thinking I'm brave, eventually I become, in actuality, brave. When something freaks me out now, I do my best to turn and run right into it so that the next time something frightening is looming over me, I can pull one of these experiences out of my confidence bank and be like "hey, remember when you dove with those dead-eyed sharks? You can totally speak in front of this crowd of people leering at you".
It's a really scary time right now. I'm scared to return to the US tomorrow, for the next few years in our country, and also for the future of legal cannabis under its upcoming administration. We just found a space in Boston to start classes (and an amazing teacher!), so I probably won't poop solid for a week before those sessions start. It's totally OK to be scared shitless, but you can't let it destroy you. You can't cave to those lose bowels, my friends.

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